Sometimes a Baton Is Just a Baton

A 74-year-old nude sunbather from Vancouver attacks a guy and his dogs rafting down the Columbia with his kids.

A navigation error by a Southeast Portland man on a rafting trip with four children and two dogs led to an altercation at a Columbia River nudist beach, police said.

The 45-year-old man thought he was several hundred feet from the clothing-optional area of Sand Island at Rooster Rock State Park when he brought his inflatable raft ashore Thursday.

A startled man sunbathing in the buff let him know otherwise, allegedly attacking the man and his Chihuahuas with a police baton, said Lt. Gregg Hastings, an Oregon State Police spokesman.

The man told police he realized his mistake when his dogs ran toward the sunbather, who hit them. The sunbather then walked up to the man and the children, holding up a can of pepper spray and striking the man.

Friday, state police returned to the park and arrested the sunbather, identified as Donald Joseph Kenney, 74, of Vancouver.

He faces accusations of menacing and assault, which can carry a maximum of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

You sort of have to wonder why the guy had the baton.